What would you think if God didn’t allow someone to be a pastor because he was ugly, or disfigured, or because he had a brother who didn’t follow the Lord. It would seem wrong to disallow someone from pastoring because of something that he had no control over, had nothing to do with his job, and had nothing to do with the set roles that God had given him.

So, you may be asking yourself, what does this have to do with parenting? My response is, “Everything!” Look at the following verses:

1 Timothy 3:4-5 [An elder] must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) NIV

1 Timothy 3:12 A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well. NIV

Titus 1:6 An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. NIV

I personally think these are the strongest verses in the Bible that definitively show that you can win with your kids. I just can’t see any possible way to explain them away.

1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 lay out the requirements for church leaders, and one of the requirements is that they have good kids—kids who are believers, who are not wild and disobedient, who are manageable, and who respect their fathers. Now if a father has a fair amount of control of these things in his kids’ lives, then this requirement is fair. However, if fathers really have little or no control over how their kids turn out, then this requirement for church leadership is as random as if God required His leaders to be members of the Arian race, or if God judged them based on the behavior of their extended family. Do you see the connection now? God would not require that leaders have good kids if having good kids was merely a product of dumb luck! Having good kids is a result of following God’s principles in your own life, and in your parenting practices!

CLEARLY, God believes that parents are equipped for, responsible for, and capable of producing good kids—kids who are believers, who are not wild and disobedient, who are manageable, and who respect their parents.

Parent, you MUST be convinced of this. You MUST take ownership for how your children turn out, and you MUST have faith that with God, all things are possible.

Everyone else may think that your job as a parent is just to educate, provide for, and protect your kids until they are on their own. Everyone else may think that you just have to cross your fingers and hope they turn out okay, but you are not everyone else. You must lock into the responsibility that God has given you. He clearly thinks you can change the outcome of your kids’ lives. You need to believe the same!